Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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