it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
