return my video game
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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