eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
