My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
