Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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