I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
