Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
