he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
