The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
