I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
