I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize