your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
