So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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