I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
