im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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