thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
