i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
