I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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