I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
