what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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