the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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