I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
