My room smells like vodka and shame
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
