I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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