Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just cropdusted the office
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
