I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
