please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
