Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
