he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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