pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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