i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
