Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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