You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
