He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
