I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
