i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
