that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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