he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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