I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
