God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
