remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
