remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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