I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
