Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
