he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I will be naked everywhere
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
