i can't believe i had my finger in that
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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