Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
