somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
love makes seman taste better
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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