be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
